A Frank, Down-to-Earth Glimpse into the World of a Freshly Liberated Cougar Let Loose Online
I’m Eve, variously labelled as a cougar, MILF, idealist, randy romantic, and non-traditional poly/RA chick who likes to bend boundaries and question the status quo. I reject all labels and accept myself just as I am – a mid-life woman on a mission to make the rest of my life count.
On this blog I share my journey as a suddenly single, excited and nervous digital dating virgin over 40, who soon learned to play to her strengths in the volatile new world of 21st Century dating and mating.
The first thing you need to know is that I use the description ‘cougar’ with a cheeky dose of irony and tongue-in-cheek humour. In fact, visit the menu to find out more thoughts on what it means to me to use the word ‘cougar’ in the title of this blog.
We are not invisible or pointless!
My first year of online dating, I discovered the tantalising lure of younger men seeking cougars and MILFS, virtual sex, kinks – and the illusion of endless choice online. I’ve written about it in my book UNLEASHING THE COUGAR – ADVENTURES OF AN ONLINE DATING VIRGIN, which I’m looking to publish. (If you’re an astute literary agent or publisher, I’d love to hear from you).
Here in this blog, I’m sharing my stories and what I learn with you. I hope you’ll share too and give me feedback. I love hearing from readers and other bloggers!
Through heartfelt memoirs I share my transformation from eager ingénue new to the ever-changing lingo and etiquette, bad behaviour, undisclosed expectations and in-your-face dick pics!
My search for intimacy, meaning and pleasure fits has of course explored alternatives to monogamy and a certain thumbing of my nose at relationship conventions. I’m interested in unpacking the notion of and social understandings behind monogamy. I adore thinkers and writers like Esther Perel and Dan Savage who explore this terrain and help people through the quagmire of desire, infidelity and relationships.
I’ve explored subjects like polyamory and relationship anarchy in my goal to shine a light on the messages we’re given in our lives about what choices we have, what relationships should look like, and what we expect of our partners.
Here in this blog I will also reflect on the thorny topic of age for women, tips and advice for people looking online for partners, but most of all, I will question everything and pull no punches about post-internet dating.
If you are a cougar or a man or woman who loves them, and especially if you are someone in midlife who’s exploring their sexual and relationship goals and boundaries, I want to hear your feedback and stories.
PS – a word on post frequency
As a relatively new blogger and one who posts regular, long and well researched pieces, what I find the most difficult about having a schedule is that sometimes I need to gestate, and also the awkward intersection between my lived experience and my writing subject matter.
This flows over into issues around privacy, and the ethics of writing for an audience about relationships – sometimes even as they are unfolding.
It’s true that every blogger should have their niche, but when your niche is such a defining, complex and confusing aspect of your life (ie, sex and dating/relationships), you can’t always squeeze out an article just to satisfy some random idea that you’ll blog weekly.
So I prefer to post when it feels right, or when the urge for a new piece overtakes me, or when I have truly worthy words, thoughts and feelings to explore and share. Thanks for dropping by and I hope you’ll join me on my journey.
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